3 Apr 2016

Whakapapa

Description:Family history is very important and I can show you my Maori family tree! In poutama when some people go to kappa Haka the rest of us learn Maori language. Lately we have been learning Maori names for our family members. I choose to make a family tree on ansestree. Ansestree is an app that allows you to go as far back in your family history as you want. I have gone back to my great,great great,great grandparents. Well what do you think of it?


This is a photo of my great,great,great,great grandad. His name is Kamariera Te Hau Takira Wharepapa. He was a Maori chief.

Feedback: I like how you put lots of detail it the family tree

Feedforward:maybe zoom into the pictures because it is a bit hard to see


Evaluation:thanks Camden. I'LL try that next time.



1 Apr 2016

Camp elrancho recount

Description: this is my writing sample. It is about one of my favourite activities that I did at camp elrancho. I have been working for n this piece since last month and I think that I've done really good job. I have prof read my story and I have edited it to get it to this stage. I hope you like it

Camp elrancho highlight recount


Camp was the best experience ever. I will never forget camp. If you went to a school camp would you never forget it? ,”Here we are.” Announced Nic. We had arrived a camp el-rancho in waikanae. One by one we hopped of the bus and stared at the humongous field. Soon we were inside red wood hall.,” All right.” Troy yelled excitedly over the megaphone.,”Who's hungry.” ,”Me me me.” We all shouted at different times. 5 minutes later we had talked about what the day was going to look like and some safety rules. Soon the boys split into their cabin groups and prepeared to do a discover el-rancho tour. Ok this is getting boring let's just skip to the cool part. I was in the shack where el-rancho was hosting riffles. As soon as you could James Bond I was holding a real metal pallet. I also was wearing some awesome looking yellow targeting glasses. I loaded the gun with a metal pallet and prepared to use an air riffle. BANG!!!! My first shot with a gun. I loaded and fired the riffle 4 more times. I couldn't wait to find out what my score was? 30 seconds later we were in the little fake grass covered room. I picked up my target and replaced it with the new target.,”I GOT A NINE. I yelled in an excited voice. Richard and some other kids called me agent 007 James Bond. I also hit an eight which meant my score was 17. I loved doing riffles and I also loved playing bat down in one of the free times. When I was playing I was having so much fun I wished it would never end. I had a great time. Camp was the experience of a life time. I will never forget camp. If you went to a school camp would you never forget it??

Feedback:I like how you tried the best to hook the reader 

Feedforward:next time you can do something else from the pies

Juven